י' ימי תשובה- Part 1

It is mefurash in the Shulchan Aruch (603) that during the עשרת ימי תשובה, we must be extra careful. Extra careful to refrain from during aveirot! Extra careful to do mitzvot! R’ Yosef Cairo writes that we should refrain from eating Pat Paltar, or Pat Akum; the bread of non-Jews. These days are so filled with the aura of din u’mishpat that we must be so cautious in our actions, mamesh even with the bits of food that enter our body! We need to be cautios to avoid even the slightest contamination in these days, both physically and spiritually. The type of bread we eat is not even a whole public ordeal. Nor is it even an aveirah to eat Pat Akum in the first place. Also, at the end of the day it is a private thing and only Hashem and you know whether you were careful to eat Pat Yisrael or not. It is seemingly so insignificant. But during the עשרת ימי תשובה, aside from working on ourselves in other aspects, we must pay attention to those things which are just between us and Hashem and which might be seemingly insignificant. We must fix those things which we tend to overlook and which are actually very important. The true extent of our Yirat Shamayim over eth way we live may depend on this, and we must therefore be extra careful now, even with the bread we eat.

As the Rama (ibid) writes, during the עי"ת, every person should thoroughly search his deeds and to repent for them now. And how careful we have to be, he writes, that we must do more teshuvah for a possible aveirah more so than for an aveirah which we know we did! After all, a person will tend to regret more that which he knows he did and neglect that which he only might have done. We have this din by a asham taluy, a guilt offering. An asham taluy must be more expensive than a chatat, a sin offering. These days are so intrinsically filled with awe and Yirat Shamayim if we would only realize it! If we would only internalize this, how high would our neshamot reach come Yom Kippur!

We say on Rosh Hashanah and again on Yom Kippur: ונתנה תוקף לקדושת היום כי הוא נורא ואיום. How holy, awesome, and fearsome are these days! We now lie in between these two days, between the writing of our judgment and its being sealed. This is our chance to change it all for the better. I heard from one of my rebbeim that one reason why we say המלך הקדוש now is because a melech can override any decree. He controls the law, and therefore we are saying that Hashem can override any preexisting decree for bad. Rav Yehonatan Ivshitz tz”l writes that on each day of the week between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, we can atone for that day of week from the past year. We still have a chance; these days should not be taken lightly.

Rav Gershon Yankelowitz shlit”a, one of the senior Roshei Yeshiva of YU, learned in the Mir Yeshiva in Europe and Shanghai. He said by how by Elul, the whole Yeshiva was so elevated, the atmosphere was incredible. During this time you can reach greater spiritual heights and one must do any mitzvah which comes to him. The mashgiach taught that is even a chilul Hashem to pass over a mitzvah during this time! Kal v’chomer now that we are even closer to the final judgment during the עי"ת.

In light of everything we have said so far, this is also time when people usually take on temporary chumras, such as Pat Yisrael specified by the Shulchan Aruch, and Chalav Yisrael. These should not be viewed as externals for the sake of externals. As it says in Mesilat Yesharim, there is always a flame burning within a person, but sometimes he needs to make himself do acts which are simply external in order to bring that flame out. This is not impossible. We can arouse ourselves and come to do proper teshuvah if we would only take these few steps forward. Chazal teach us that if one comes to do teshuvah Hashem will help him! But how does it help to take on an extra chumra or minhag for ten days? Isn’t it just temporary? We must say that a person can grow; perhaps he will maintain he new chumra or perhaps it can “recharge” him for when he goes back to his rest-of-the-year lifestyle. Rav Dessler writes that people are stubborn. We are doing this to show that although we do one thing during the rest of the year, we can now break a habit. We now have a chance to show HaKadosh Boruch Hu and ourselves that we are capable of more and can be better ovdei Hashem.

Here’s an interesting story of teshuvah that I read:

Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov once went over to a certain rasha and asked him “Is it possible that I might be jealous of you?” The man amazedly replied, “what could the Rebbe be jealous of me for?” Rav Levi Yitzchak replied, “Chazal have taught us (Yoma 86b) that ‘if one does teshuvah out of love for Hashem, his intentional aveirot will become merits for him.’ See now, if a great baal aveirah like you would do teshuvah wholeheartedly, and have all of his aveirot turned to zchuyot, how many mitzvot you would have! Without a doubt you would have more mitzvot and zchuyot than me!” The Rebbe then took hold of the man’s garment and entreated him until the rasha resolved in his heart to do complete teshuvah.