Well, here I am, back after learning for two years in Eretz Yisrael. Next year may yet be number 3, but that is still in the workshop. I wish I could say that I've returned as an accomplished talmid chochom, perhaps a tzaddik, and even not one of those two, at least I would have finished shas by now! Alas, I have but grown in some respects, while having fallen in others. No tzaddik here. I've finished a few more masechtas, learned just a few more blatt, and improved my learning skills. But I'm no Rogotchover. Ok, nobody is like the Rogotchover, but I'm still nothing special. But I've gotten to know myself better and I've spent more time analyzing the issues of life through the lens I've tried to craft with the Torah knowledge/values bequeathed to me by my Rebbeim/personal learning. And I think this is a good start to hopefully be a tzaddik/talmid chochom one day B"H.
And now I can really say that the beis medrash is home to me. Not that I didn't have this feelig before I left for Erezt Yisroel, but it is stronger now. The voice of learning is the familar sound of relatives beckoning, and the voice of
battalah is the painful screeching of an annoying younger sibling (although, yes, sometimes I can't help but join. Add it to the list of things I have to work on). Anyway, I can go on and on about all the specifics of the past two years, but that would take too long to do all at once. So instead I'll just Baruch Hashem on the
tov, Baruch Dayan Emes on what, at my level, I can't help but percieve as
ra.
הודו לה' כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו- The past two years was an amazing zechus. Not just that but the lasting effect and indelible impression left on me from the whole experience will remain a lifelong zechus. It seems like it all just went by so fast and now it's over, but in truth, it will never end (I hope). "You can take the bochur out of the yeshivah, but you can't take the yeshivah out of the bochur" (or something like that).
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