Thoughts on Proper Perspective In Life

The Ribbono Shel Olam created man of two elements. The physical and the spiritual. These are two beings that co-exist as one. Two sides of a one coin. The kli and the or; a bright lamp, as it were. But what happens when we don't turn on this lamp, when we extinguish the light? Better question: what do I mean?

When we do aveiros what do we feel? When we hear lashon hara, do our ears suddenly bleed? When we speak with nibbul peh, do our tongues swell and choke us? When we look at assur images, do our eyes go blind? When we strike our friends, do our arms become limp? When we walk to places we shouldn't go to, do our legs go lame? When we live lives of immorality, do we die? When we allow the guf to dominate, do we feel the pain of the neshamah?

Seemingly, the answer is, at least generally, no. Of course, the seforim hakedoshim do speak about how guilty limbs are punished for what they have done. But I mean to say that usually there is no immidiate tangible repercussion. If there was, people wouldn't do aveiros. If you're eyes burned everytime you looked at something you shouldn't look at it, you would have to be very determined to do bad to look anyway, and I believe that most people are not like that.

If this is true, that we do not feel any physical reaction, how can we expect to feel the destruction of all the supernal life that is connected to us? It is part of my physical nervous system. If I prick my finger with a needle, I will feel it. But if I prick a sefirah, what will I feel? Truthfully, I will not feel any pain, but I cannot speak for anyone else.

What, then, am I, and anyone else who may suffer like me, to do? How am I to approach life as an eved Hashem? What is it that will keep me pointed in the right direction? If my tongue doesn't stretch to my naval every time I speak lashon hara (now we're yotzei  a dvar Torah for this week), what will hold me back?

Let me ask you a question? What is Gehenom? Fire? Devils with pitchforks? A big red guy with horns? If you've ever read Dante's Inferno, then maybe you'll agree that the guy mentioned at the end seems a bit scary. However, this is all the influence of the X-ian society around us. Gehenom is the burning pain of shame; the shame of realization at what you have done. If you eat treif, your stomach won't explode, and therefore will not be what spurs any regret and abstention from any further such acts. But if you just think for a second about what you have done, how you have put something assur into your stomach which will now be digested and carried throughout you whole body, surely you will shudder at the realization of what you have done (granted we are talking about a frum person who consciously wants to be mekayem mitzvos, and even then, this may not apply as strongly for a particular aveirah which has been habitually transgressed for a long time).

What am I trying to say? Granted, we may not feel any initial pain when we do an aveirah, but we can feel shame (which in it's own way is painful). This is a very real way of coming to terms with the reality you have created for yourself by doing whatevre it is you have done. Can we see the mass destruction of the Heavenly spheres wrought by our own hands? No (at least I can't, I believe great tzaddikim can), but we can feel shame at the realization that our lives have become bereft of ruchnius to whatever extent this applies. This is Gehenom. Gehenom exists here, with us, in this World, if we are zoche to suffer it. If not, if we do not feel the painful shame now, then we will feel it at the end of our lives, and then it will be so much worse, when we can't do anything about it.

Conversely, the great simchah felt when we do mitzvos, learn Torah, and serve Hakadosh Boruch Hu, is what drives us forward to do the next mitzvah! When we live lives of proper Avodas Hashem, then we see everything as a new opportunity to grow in Avodas Hashem! Peledig!!

It is with these two feeling, shame and joy, that must calibrate our lives and guide ourselves. And if we don't strive to control ourselves this way, no one else will do it for us. As the heilege Piaseczner Rebbe states so powerfully in Chovas HaTalmidim, you are your own main mechanech. Maybe you do only good while you're Rebbe, or Parent, or wife, or kids are around, which is good because it means that you recognize what is right and you are ashamed to do otherwise when someone you care about will see you. But how will you act when you are alone. You cannot see the Ribbono Shel Olam in the same direct way that you see another person. But you can see yourself and you can think about what you are doing and the weight of your actions. It all depends on how you train yourself and if you will listen to the voice of reason in your head. See the first siman of Shulchan Aruch, it's a good one. And take a look at the Aruch HaShulchan there.

You know, YouTube and iTunes, for example, both create recommended lists based on what you view/listen to. Sometimes you have to look at such a lists and think about whether or not it fits who you want to be. A person has to think about his/her actions and think about whether or not they are befitting of them. If someone could see everything you do, what kind of person would they think you are? What lists of recommended activities would they give to suit your personality?

.שכר מצוה מצוה ושכר עבירה עבירה

See Nefesh HaChaim Sha'ar 1; the whole thing. (The understanding of this article was based on R' Chaim Volozhiner in Nefesh HaChaim, I recall learning at least one other understanding of Gehenom, but I don't remember where it is.)