Showing posts with label Teshuvah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teshuvah. Show all posts

Friday, September 25, 2009

Shabbos Shuvah 5770

We now find ourselves in the midst of what should be the ten most fearsome, awesome, and impactful days of the year. The two days of Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and the days between them comprise the עשרת ימי תשובה, the period when we are faced with a final opportunity for repentance as we are faced with the writing and eventual sealing of our judgment. The Shulchan Aruch (403:1) writes that during these days every person should search our and examine his deeds, and do teshuvah for them. The Piskei Teshuvot brings down that during these days a person must be careful to take hold of the matter of taharah, to purify the heart from machshavot aveirah and any middot ra’ot that lie therein. And as Rambam writes, the main taharat hamachshavah comes from learning Torah (so it’s a good thing you’re reading this). Shabbos is a special time of elevated holiness in this world; perhaps we can take advantage of Shabbos Shuvah to delve ourselves into the proper attitude which is proper for this time until the upcoming Yom Kippur. The first pasuk of this week’s haftorah is:  שובה ישראל עד ה' אלוקיך כי כשלת בעונך

Something we learn, which is really amazing, is that Hashem is mekayem the entire Torah (Shemot Rabbah, Yerushalmi Rosh HaShanah). Since He upholds all of the miztvot, Hashem is also mekayem the mitzvah doing teshuvah. When Hashem takes back the bad that was sent to Bnei Yisrael, or that which He said to happen, that is in effect His teshuvahוינחם על הרעה אשר דיבר לעשות לעמו לעמוAnd He reconsidered the evil which he said to do to his nation. What does it mean that Hashem “reconsidered”? That is kivyachol Hashem’s charatah, the first part of teshuvah. But when the teshuvah is only on the evil which was added onto us, we still remain chas v’shalom, in the same difficult situation as we were originally. If only the bad which Hashem added, or wanted to add onto us is removed, then we are still in the lowly, harsh reality that we were stuck in to begin with!

שובה ה' עד מתי והנחם על עבדיך. שבענו בבקר חסדך ונרננה ונשמחה בכל ימינו.Return, Hashem, until when? Relent concerning your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with Your kindness, then we shall sing and rejoice throughout our days. What does this mean? The holy Piaseczner Rebbe explains that we pray “Shuva Hashem!” Kivyachol, Hashem should do teshuvah with us! Until when will Your teshuvah just be "והנחם"? How long will it simply be a reconsideration for those tzarot that are additionally put upon us, while leaving us in the state that we were before? We are still in a poor state without this! “Sabeinu baboker chasdecha”, Satisfy us in the morning with Your kindness, and then we shall sing and rejoice for that will be your teshuvahkivyachol. Let us wake up the next morning, the day of geulah v’yeshua, of redemption and salvation, filled with Your chesed Ribono Shel Olam! Let us leave behind the night of our exiled state! (ע"פ דברי רש"י).

We must also do teshuva in this manner. When a person (that’s you and me) does an aveira, if he only does teshuva on that aveira that he has put upon himself, then afterwards he remains in the same state he was before the aveirah. This is not our tafkid, how can this be a Jew’s goal in life?

"שובה ישראל עד האלוקיך כי כשלת בעוניך"- The main part of doing teshuva is returning to Hashem for we have stumbled in our lowly darkened ways. But we might think that all we need to do is repent for stumbling in our sins and that’s it. Hence, the Navi proclaims to us not just to return and to do teshuvah, but it should be "עד האלקיך"! We must raise ourselves completely in higher level of kedushah and taharah towards Hashem.
אמר רבי עקיבא אשריכם ישראל לפני מי אתם מטהרים מי מטהר אתכם אביכם שבשמים. (יומא ח"ט)
The Arvei Nachal brings down from Teshuvot Maharam m’Rotenberg, who has a kabalah, that one who is killed al pi kiddush Hashem doesn’t not feel any afflictions. The Arvei Nachal explains the reason for this being that since such a person is filled with the overwhelming fervor for his desire to die al pi kiddush Hashem, all of his feelings are elevated into the world of thought until he is completely enwrapped in thought, and his physicality is separated from him. Therefore, all he feels is this great joyousness in what he is doing. The same is true of all man’s troubles. All of our suffering is hard, but when a person knows that it is all to “polish” off his aveirot and be metaher him so that he can become closer to Hashem, then the deeper he roots himself in this thought and attached himself to it, the lighter and easier his burdens are to bear.

We learn in the Zohar: בעובדא דלתתא אתער עובדא דלעילאwith an action from below, an action from above is awakened. Therefore, we attach ourselves so much to this thought, to attach ourselves to Hashem, until our physical feelings are basically nullified. To that extent HaKadosh Boruch Hu also affixs Himself to us with his thought until his feelings, the anger which is upon us, are overturned and we have a yeshuah.

Since Rabbi Akiva was killed al pi kiddush Hashem and all his life he walked bearing the thought of being moser nefesh for Hashem, as we learn in the Gemara in Berachot (61b), when R’ Akiva was being killed by the Romans, he said “I always bothered by the pasuk of "בכל נפשך"- to serve Hashem even if it takes your life, and I would say, ‘when will I have the opportunity to perform this mitzvah?’ Now that I have the opportunity at hand, will I not uphold it?” This is the reason why it was Rabbi Akiva who taught the Mishnah in Yoma quoted above, which now has a new, deeper meaning. Praiseworthy are you O Yisrael, even with yisurim, when you remember before Whom you are purified because then your physical feelings will become batel and you will no longer feel the yisurim which you suffer from. And that which its say ""מי מטהר אתכם אביכם שבשמים, your Father in Heaven, is because just like a father cancels out his anger for the good of his son, so too Hashem does everything for Bnei Yisrael, and then all of the judgments against us will be nullified and then it will truly be a state of "אשריכם ישראל".         

Friday, September 18, 2009

BS"D We Will Do Good

Before blowing the shofar we say: ערוב עבדך לטוב אל יעשקוני זדים.-"Be Your servant's guarantor for good, let not willful sinners exploit me." (Tehillim 119:122))
Above is one of the psukim said before Teki'at Shofar. The hailege Piaseczner Rebbe writes (Aish Kodesh: Rosh HaShanah 5701) an short but very important concept in teshuvah. The main part of teshuvah is not returning to your aveirot. There are 2 ways through which we must do this, based on the pasuk "סור מרע ועשה טוב". The bad which we have done we must now refrain from, and the good which we did not do we must now perform. It is easier to do teshuvah in terms of the sur me'rah aspect, that we should not do any more bad. However, this is not the case by actively doing good. It is much harder as we are all surrounded by bitter yisurim which basically rob us of strength. How will we be sure to be able to learn Torah, give tzedakah, or do other mitzvot? This goal really requires an active dedication to bettering ourselves. So what do we do? We ask Hashem, "Be Your servant's guarantor for good", meaning we want, and need, HaKadosh Boruch Hu's help to actively do good, to be mekayem mitzvot and learn Torah; "let not willful sinners exploit me" and we will b'ezrat Hashem do tov.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Yom Kippur, the Day of Teshuvah

The Rambam writes (Hilchot Teshuvah 1:2) that the se’ir hamistale’ach, the goat which is sent off the cliff on Yom Kippur, is mechaper on all aveirot, both the lighter ones and the more stringent ones, whether by accident or on purpose, whether known to a person or not; all is atoned for through this se’ir. However, this is only when a person does teshuvah, if not, then the se’ir hamishtale’ach is mechaper on kalot, lighter aveirot. So from this which the Rambam writes that come Yom Kippur, a person has atonement for his aveirot kalot, meaning the mitzvot aseh and lo ta’aseh which do not carry the death penalty or karet, even without teshuvah. However, this seemingly contradicts the Gemara in Masechet Shvu’ot (12b) which says that if you do not do teshuvah, the se’ir hamishtale’ach does not atone for mitzvot aseh and lo ta’aseh. Without teshuvah, the se’ir is referred by the Torah as "זבח רשעים תועבה"- an abominable korban of reshaim. Rav Moshe Shternbach shlit”a writes (Moadim U’Zmanim siman 57) that in the sefer Chibur HaTeshuvah, by the Meiri, it says that when we say that the se’ir hamishtale’ach atones for kalot, even without teshuvah, it means when we have not been aroused to do teshuvah gemurah, but have still done a minor form of teshuvah. This requires some further explanation as this doesn’t seem to be the simple meaning of the Rambam who seems to say that you don’t need to do any teshuvah.

According to what the Rambam writes at the beginning of Hilchot Teshuvah, a main action of teshuvah seems is ודוי, confession of the sin. He even counts this as a mitzvat aseh. He also writes that the main part of teshuvah is to accept not to do that aveirah any more. One has not fulfilled the mitzvah of teshuvah without this component of severing himself from his aveirot. And seems clear, writes Rav Shternbach, if one has complete remorse for his actions his is no longer a rasha, for once he feels it within himself to turn away from his aveirot, he is no longer in a state of rebellion against Hashem. However, even with that he has not fulfilled the mitzvah of teshuvah. So this must be what the Meiri meant; on Yom Kippur, our aveirot kalot are atoned for if we have this partial teshuvah; charatah- regret. If a person really looks at himself and does a little (preferably a lot) cheshbon nefesh, he will find that his thoughts will be that he wants to leave his aveirot and return to HaKadosh Boruch Hu. However, it is extremely difficult for a person to take the next step and officially accept upon himself to abstain from sin. So this must be what the Rambam meant; not that a person didn’t do teshuvah, but that he didn’t do proper teshuvah. One must fulfill the entire mitzvah and complete every aspect of it to do teshuvah gemurah.

If this is true, that our ultimate kaparah does not rest on Yom Kippur or the se’ir hamishtale’ach, but rather on each and every one of us, then certainly we must always have this in mind as our actions may determine the ultimate outcome of whether we can merit atonement. We should not just go into davening on Rosh HaShanah, during the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah, and on Yom Kippur thinking that this time slot of intense prayer will accomplish all of our teshuvah, klapping “al chet” to erase all of our sins. We need to do it b’emet b’lev shalem u’b’kavanah. Doing teshuvah should not and cannot just be confined to such a short time! We need to live with a sense of teshuvah constantly within us. We should have an awareness incorporated into everything we do; it can’t end when we walk out of davening and selichot.

As we said above, the Rambam counts ודוי as one of the 613 mitzvot. R’ Moshe Tzuriel asks (Otzrot HaMussar: Shaar HaTeshuvah maamar 1), why doesn’t the Rambam count “teshuvah” as a mitzvah? Why only one component of it, what about the rest of the whole teshuvah process? R’ Tzuriel suggests his own answer that teshuvah itself is an all inclusive mitzvah, like “Kedoshim Tih’yu.” The Rambam doesn’t count inclusive mitzvot such as these. Teshuvah includes all of the mitzvot we do, all of the Torah we learn, and they way we live by them. It’s not just meant for the few hours we spend in shul on Yom Kippur! He also brings down a different answer from the Maharal (Netivot Olam). The midrash (Yalkut Shimoni Tehillim) says that the three sifrei Tanach were asked what a sinner’s punishment is. K’tuvim answered, “he will continue to chase evil.” Neviim said, “he will die”. Torah “he will bring a korban and do atonement.” But Hashem said even better; “he will do teshuvah and thereby atone for himself!” The Gemara says that seven things were created before the world and one of them is teshuvah. The Maharal writes that teshuvah is such a great and amazing thing. It’s like pressing a restart button; a person is going back to the way he was before his sin and he is returning to Hashem! He writes that this is something above this world. That is why only Hashem could have advised us to do teshuvah, it is so great that kivyachol it was beyond the advice of the Torah which only tells us to bring a korban. It was beyond the scope of Tanach, rather it had to come from the Torah Sheba’al Peh which was not always written but came straight from an oral chain that originated from Hashem Himself.

It says in Hoshea: "שובה ישראל עד ה' אלקיך כי כשלת בעונך"- Return, Yisrael, to Hashem your G-d for you have stumbled in your inquity. Chazal say (Yoma 86a) on this that teshuvah is so great that it reaches all the way to the kisei hakavod. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitv tz”l writes that we see from here, that teshuvah brings one all the way to the kisei hakavod, that it also elevates one to a higher level than he could have reached with all his strength even if he had always been a tzaddik! As Chazal say, the place where those who do teshuvah stand, even tzaddikim gemurim do not stand! It says in the Gemara (Menachot 29b), if one comes to purify himself, he receives Divine assistance. Rav Shmuelevitz explains that this means that one who comes to purify himself from his impurities and the aveirot which he has done will receive Divine assistance. Therefore, the matter is clear; if a person does teshuvah, he can bring himself closer to Hashem than even a tzaddik gamur as he is being helped directly by Hashem Himself! May we be zoche this Yom Kippur to do a teshuvah gemurah, properly, b’lev shalem, while making sure that we maintain ourselves throughout the rest of the year as well. And may we raise our neshamot back to Hashem with siyata dishmaya.

י' ימי תשובה- Part 2

As, mentioned in Part I, the Rama says that during these days, which are nearing their end, we need to be mefashpesh in what we have done to do teshuvah and return to the Rebono Shel Olam. We need to look into our very own neshamot and find any impurity and remove it so that we may reach our ultimate kaparah. In a similar idea, the Rambam writes (הלכות תשובה פ"ב) that when doing teshuvah we must find our sins and remove them from ourselves, and then we can reach the next step of charatah, to regret what we have done. This is like the mashal of one with a sheretz in his hand who goes to the mikvah. He must remove the sheretz from himself or else the mikvah will not purify him! However, once a person removes this hindrance, he can then go on to bring himself to a higher level of kedushah.
During the Aseret Y’mei Teshuvah we say in davening שיר המעלות ממעמקים קראתיך ה'. The Baal HaTanya teaches that מעמקים, “from the depths,” means more like “making a depth.” And from there will “I call out to You, Hashem.” The plain meaning of the pasuk would be that a person calls out to Hashem from the depths of his afflictions (Metzudat Dovid). However, the deeper meaning seems to be that calling out "ממעמקים" is actually a level in Avodat Hashem. A person must wear himself out until he can call to Hashem from the depths of his soul. This is certainly no easy feat, but it must be our goal and we should try as best as we can to cry out in repentance from the depths of our souls.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

י' ימי תשובה- Part 1

It is mefurash in the Shulchan Aruch (603) that during the עשרת ימי תשובה, we must be extra careful. Extra careful to refrain from during aveirot! Extra careful to do mitzvot! R’ Yosef Cairo writes that we should refrain from eating Pat Paltar, or Pat Akum; the bread of non-Jews. These days are so filled with the aura of din u’mishpat that we must be so cautious in our actions, mamesh even with the bits of food that enter our body! We need to be cautios to avoid even the slightest contamination in these days, both physically and spiritually. The type of bread we eat is not even a whole public ordeal. Nor is it even an aveirah to eat Pat Akum in the first place. Also, at the end of the day it is a private thing and only Hashem and you know whether you were careful to eat Pat Yisrael or not. It is seemingly so insignificant. But during the עשרת ימי תשובה, aside from working on ourselves in other aspects, we must pay attention to those things which are just between us and Hashem and which might be seemingly insignificant. We must fix those things which we tend to overlook and which are actually very important. The true extent of our Yirat Shamayim over eth way we live may depend on this, and we must therefore be extra careful now, even with the bread we eat.

As the Rama (ibid) writes, during the עי"ת, every person should thoroughly search his deeds and to repent for them now. And how careful we have to be, he writes, that we must do more teshuvah for a possible aveirah more so than for an aveirah which we know we did! After all, a person will tend to regret more that which he knows he did and neglect that which he only might have done. We have this din by a asham taluy, a guilt offering. An asham taluy must be more expensive than a chatat, a sin offering. These days are so intrinsically filled with awe and Yirat Shamayim if we would only realize it! If we would only internalize this, how high would our neshamot reach come Yom Kippur!

We say on Rosh Hashanah and again on Yom Kippur: ונתנה תוקף לקדושת היום כי הוא נורא ואיום. How holy, awesome, and fearsome are these days! We now lie in between these two days, between the writing of our judgment and its being sealed. This is our chance to change it all for the better. I heard from one of my rebbeim that one reason why we say המלך הקדוש now is because a melech can override any decree. He controls the law, and therefore we are saying that Hashem can override any preexisting decree for bad. Rav Yehonatan Ivshitz tz”l writes that on each day of the week between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, we can atone for that day of week from the past year. We still have a chance; these days should not be taken lightly.

Rav Gershon Yankelowitz shlit”a, one of the senior Roshei Yeshiva of YU, learned in the Mir Yeshiva in Europe and Shanghai. He said by how by Elul, the whole Yeshiva was so elevated, the atmosphere was incredible. During this time you can reach greater spiritual heights and one must do any mitzvah which comes to him. The mashgiach taught that is even a chilul Hashem to pass over a mitzvah during this time! Kal v’chomer now that we are even closer to the final judgment during the עי"ת.

In light of everything we have said so far, this is also time when people usually take on temporary chumras, such as Pat Yisrael specified by the Shulchan Aruch, and Chalav Yisrael. These should not be viewed as externals for the sake of externals. As it says in Mesilat Yesharim, there is always a flame burning within a person, but sometimes he needs to make himself do acts which are simply external in order to bring that flame out. This is not impossible. We can arouse ourselves and come to do proper teshuvah if we would only take these few steps forward. Chazal teach us that if one comes to do teshuvah Hashem will help him! But how does it help to take on an extra chumra or minhag for ten days? Isn’t it just temporary? We must say that a person can grow; perhaps he will maintain he new chumra or perhaps it can “recharge” him for when he goes back to his rest-of-the-year lifestyle. Rav Dessler writes that people are stubborn. We are doing this to show that although we do one thing during the rest of the year, we can now break a habit. We now have a chance to show HaKadosh Boruch Hu and ourselves that we are capable of more and can be better ovdei Hashem.

Here’s an interesting story of teshuvah that I read:

Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov once went over to a certain rasha and asked him “Is it possible that I might be jealous of you?” The man amazedly replied, “what could the Rebbe be jealous of me for?” Rav Levi Yitzchak replied, “Chazal have taught us (Yoma 86b) that ‘if one does teshuvah out of love for Hashem, his intentional aveirot will become merits for him.’ See now, if a great baal aveirah like you would do teshuvah wholeheartedly, and have all of his aveirot turned to zchuyot, how many mitzvot you would have! Without a doubt you would have more mitzvot and zchuyot than me!” The Rebbe then took hold of the man’s garment and entreated him until the rasha resolved in his heart to do complete teshuvah.