Audible Intent

You know, at mincha today there was a kid who was davening Shemoneh Esreh out loud. Not yelling, but out loud. All the while shuckeling this way and that. He is high school age. And I've seen him learning in shul in his free time so it's not like he's totally disconnected with proper halachic behavior (I hope, I really don't know).

So this was strange to me for a couple of reasons, firstly, the very fact that he didn't know that davening Shemoneh Esreh quietly is not just something people happen to do, you are supposed to do it. Otherwise you may be one of the קטני אמנה. Also, I thought it strange that even if he didn't know this halachah, if you found yourself in a room full of people davening silently, would you daven out loud? On top of that, I found it plain annoying that since I was right behind this fellow, I had trouble concentrating of the Shliach Tzibbur during Chazaras HaShatz.

But I didn't say anything to him, because in such situations I am unsure what an appropriate way to approach such a person would be, and I feared causing more harm than good. And then I saw an older man, a rav, approach this young fellow. I thought for sure he was going to give some sort of kind explanation to the boy as to his error. (I noticed a few people giving this boy looks during davening.) But instead he simply commented how nice it was to see one of the younger people davening with so much kavana.

This made me happy.

And the whole time I was just thinking of this story from Reb Shlomo Carlebach:

Waking Up: Modeh Ani

I gratefully thank You, O living and eternal King, for You have returned my soul within me with compassion- abudnant is Your faithfulness! (Artscroll Siddur)

Every morning we wake up and thank the Ribbono shel Olam for restoring our neshamot to our bodies with the tfillah of Modeh Ani. Of course, like anything else, this can unfortunately develop over time into a habitual act. When we take the time to think about it, we should really be wondering what to have in mind while saying it. 

The Shulchan Aruch writes that one should arise in the morning like a lion to serve Hashem (1:1).  The Rama (ibid) also writes that immediately upon awaking, a person should get up with zrizut to serve Hashem. The Mishnah Berurah comments that as he gets up, it is good to say: "Modeh ani lifanecha, Melech Chai v'Kayam, she'hechezarta bi nishmati b'chemela, Rabbah Emunatecha." He quotes the Yad Efraim that one should pronounce "b'chemla" with an etnachta (as the end of the sentence or phrase), and then say the words "Rabbah Emunatecha" together. It's not problematic to say this tfillah before netilat yadayim since there is no mention of Hashem's name. Interestingly, R' Yaakov Emden tz"l disagrees and maintains that one should not even say this before washing his hands, but should rather contemplate the words and this is sufficient (Siddur Beit Yaakov). 

The Gemara in Brachot (60b) actually lists the brachot one should make upon waking up; the first being "Elokai Neshama" to thank Hashem for returning our neshamot. Rabbeinu Yonah has a problem with this, that Chazal set up to say berachot like this in the Gemara becasue they were so holy and made sure to get up and wash their hands in a careful way so as to be able to say the berachot then. But for us today, we are not on such a level and therefore can't say brachot until after netilat yadayim. So the Seder HaYom writes that today, we say Modeh Ani first. 

"Modeh Ani Lifanecha"- Wefulfill that which the Rama writes to uphold the pasuk "Shiviti Hashem L'negdi Tamid."  We must make sure to realize what we say as we say it. We thank Hashem because He is before us and is the source of everything. "Melech Chai V'Kayam"- Just as we thank Hashem, our Melech, the Melech Malchei HaMelachim, for returning our neshamah, we must remember that we are his servants, and use our returned neshamot for His avodah! When one says "b'chemla," he should have in mind that it refers to compassion over something that it was not lost. How fortunate are we that HaKadosh Boruch returns our neshamot to our bodies every morning! "Rabbah Emunatecha"- The way of man is that when one gives his a freind something new to watch, he will get it back tattered & dirty. But when we give our neshamot to Hashem every night, dirty and worn out, He returns them as if they were new! Furthermore, this does not necessarily pertain only to the neshamah, but to the entire world. At night, the world is as if it is not there but in the hand of Hashem, and He renews it every day. (Siddur Maharal M'Prauge) Hodu La'Hashem Ki Tov Ki L'Olam Chasdo!  

 

(Picture from www.Judaica18.com)

Tfillah- More Than Just Words

(True, this is a dvar torah on the parshah which already passed, but it's never too late:)

There is just so much hectic stuff going on in Parshat Shlach, it's unbelievable. You've got the Meraglim, Bnei Yisrael almost form a lynch mob against Calev & Yehoshua, a bunch of Jews who seem to do tshuva and say they want to do what Hashem tells them right away defy Him and Moshe and try to force their way into Eretz Yisrael. Not to mention the chilul Shabbos at the end. What the heck was going through their minds? Well my goal at the moment is not to discuss that question, rather to focus on that which Moshe did right after the Meraglim gave their reports and Bnei Yisrael started to get all upset.

The Torah says that at that moment, as Moshe and Aharon were on their faces and B"Y were going against Calev & Yehoshua, the Schinah came down in the Ohel Moed to all of B"Y. Hashem then speaks to Moshe. And what does Moshe do? He begs of Hashem to not destroy Bnei Yisrael and he davens for them. Now let's take a look at a main component of Moshe's tfillah:

יְדֹוָד אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם וְרַב חֶסֶד נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן וָפָשַׁע וְנַקֵּה לֹא יְנַקֶּה פֹּקֵד עֲוֹן אָבוֹת עַל בָּנִים עַל שִׁלֵּשִׁים וְעַל רִבֵּעִים

This looks a lot like the י"ג מדות that Moshe recieved from Hashem after Chet HaEgel. Yet, there seem to be a few words missing! The Ramban comments on this is gives a pretty good explanation of why each phrase was omitted.

והזכיר במדות "ארך אפים ורב חסד" ולא הזכיר "אמת", כי במדת אמת יהיו חייבים. ולא הזכיר "נוצר חסד לאלפים", כי לא בזכות אבות נתפלל משה עכשיו ולא הזכיר בתפילה הזאת לאברהם ליצחק וליעקב כלל. והטעם בעבור שהארץ ניתנה לאבות ומהם ירשוה, והם מורדים באבותם ולא היו חפצים במתנה שלהם אשר האבות היו בוחרים בה מאד, והיאך יאמר "אשר נשבעת להם בך וגו' וכל הארץ הזאת אתן לזרעכם" (שמות לב יג) והם אומרים אי אפשנו במתנה זו:

ולא הזכיר "וחטאה", בעבור שאלו מזידים ופושעים. ולא ידעתי למה לא הזכיר "רחום וחנון", אולי ידע משה כי הדין מתוח עליהם ולא ימחול לעולם, לכן לא ביקש רק אריכות אפים שלא ימיתם כאיש אחד ולא ישחטם כצאן במדבר שימותו במגפה, ובעבור שלא בקש עתה אלא אריכות אפים אמר לו "סלחתי כדבריך" שאהיה להם ארך אפים ורב חסד. והזכיר "פוקד עון אבות", לאמר שאם יראה שלא למחות עונם יפקוד עון אבות על בניהם ולארך אפים יקחם, ומזה היתה הגזרה לקבוע להם בכיה לדורות בלילה הזה כי פקד עונם על זרעם:

First of all, one that Ramban doesn't discuss (unless I'm just really bad at reading and missed it) is that normally the 13 Middot usually start "Hashem, Hashem"; here there is only one Shem Hashem. This Shem Hashem (Yud-Key-Vav-Key) represents rachamim. One is before the sin and the other is for after the sin. Here the sin already occured, so Moshe only used the Name which represents rachamim after the sin.

Next, there is no mention of the midda of Emet (אמת). The reason the Ramban says as to Why Moshe didn't say this was because the emet of the matter was that the people had sinned, and were guilty.

Nor did he say the midda of Notzer Chesed L'Alafim (נוצר חסד לאלפים). This is because this is talking about Zchut Avot. Eretz Yisrael was given to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov for their children to inherit. B"Y had just rebelled against there ancestral inheritence. They didn't want it. So how could Moshe say that Hashem should forgive them in the zchut of their Avot?

Lastly, the Ramban writes that V'Chata'a (וחטאה) was skipped because B"Y were "Mezidim u'Poshim," and this midda refers to sin that is unintentional. Also, he writes that he doesn't know why Moshe didn't say Rachum v'Chanun, perhaps because he knew that really the case against them was stronger and he was davening that Hashem should not kill them all at once. And that is what Hashem meant when He said "I have forgiven because of your words," that He will not wipe them out all at once, but will have them die out over the course of 40 years.

I read in Rav Neventzal's sichot that he writes a very fundamental concept about tfillah based on this. Moshe basically "customized" his own tfillah from the 13 Middot. Why didn't he say the whole version as given to him by Hashem? Why did he only apply certain phrases? Tfillah is not something where you say some words and then a miracle happens. Hashem didn't teach Moshe the 13 Middot so that when in distress he could simply cry them out and then all would be forgiven! Davening is something which comes from the heart! Every word has meaning and they all individually matter, (especially and more specifically the 13 Middot). Moshe looked at the situation and saw what he needed to daven for and that is what he did. It came from his heart, b'kavana! He didn't just say a bunch of words without meaning. This is how our tfillot should be as well. When we daven, it should not be reading absentmindedly from a siddur. We need to focus on what we are really saying and make sure it comes from the heart, b'kavana.